A Plea to Christian Fathers – How to Avoid a Devastating Midlife Crisis

The man cursed the light as the Sunday morning sun broke through a crack in the dark curtains. Feeling the shame of his empty bed, he turned and pulled the covers over his head, crying into the sheets.

It’s Father’s Day, and he’d spend it alone.

No calls, cards, or gifts from his three children; not even a text message would come his way. They would think of him, which made him cry even harder. He didn’t have to ask how he ended up alone in this one-bedroom, sterile apartment. He knew.

It started with midlife boredom.

His high-paying sales job was stale; his teenage kids required little of his time, and the fire in his 20-year marriage barely flickered. The man didn’t consider himself evil, just uninspired. He wanted to feel something. He’d overheard some junior associates laugh about a porn site they frequented and immediately dismissed it. But one night, working late in his office, he created a phony alias and visited the site. He slammed his laptop shut when the action heated up, reminding himself he was a Christian, but a week later, another late night, he logged into the site again.

The snake bit him this time.

The frequency and perverse intensity of the videos he watched increased over the next few months. Within a year, the videos no longer satiated him, and he turned to the streets, picking up hookers.

A Christian man is an arrogant fool thinking he can get away with sin

The time is coming when everything that is covered up will be revealed, and all that is secret will be made known to all. Whatever you have said in the dark will be heard in the light, and what you have whispered behind closed doors will be shouted from the housetops for all to hear!

Luke 12:2-3

This story happens all too often today.

image of shadow of a man with stats about porn and divorce among Christians.

Up to 30% of Christian marriages end in divorce.

The one relationship God intended to last until death does us part ends because of boredom, self-centeredness, and a midlife crisis. No man slips into sin setting out to destroy his marriage and shatter the lives of his wife and children. However, that’s the result.

image of broken heart with stats on the effects of divorce on kids

How does a Christian man survive midlife without a crisis?

A devastating midlife crisis results because a Christian man drifts from God. He’s no longer seeking God first; the whispers of the Holy Spirit fade to the sensual urges of the flesh, and he slips, trading his Godly purposes for the fleeting pleasures of sin.

The only way a Christian man can avoid a midlife crisis is to remain steadfast in his devotion to the Lord or return to the Lord if he’s drifted.

Repent and return.

Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Be wretched and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you.

James 4: 7-10

Is that all there is to it?


The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul.  Psalm 23:1

No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. 1 Corinthians 10:13

Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers. Psalm 1: 1-3

But the Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen you and protect you from the evil one. 2 Thessalonians 3:3

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10

We’re all still prone to sin, but God protects men whose heart is bent toward Him and who seek Him first. The Holy Spirit speaks and warns of troubles ahead; a righteous man hears and takes caution. There’s a God in Heaven and a god ruling the earth.

We’ll serve one or the other.

But what if you’ve already messed up?


Ask God for forgiveness. He will forgive a genuinely repentant heart. We have repentance of sins and reconciliation with God through Christ Jesus. (2 Corinthians 5:18-19).

Next, confess your sins and seek forgiveness from those you harmed. Accept all blame and responsibility. As a Christian man, you’ve been given the ministry of reconciliation (2 Corinthians 5:18), and you’re called to restore broken relationships. Your family may forgive you, or maybe not. God has to work in their hearts, but you’ve done what you can to be at peace with them. (Romans 12:18).

Pray for your family. Pray for restoration. Pray for their healing. God wants your family restored and your marriage commitment renewed. Believe in a miracle.

God can breathe life into dry bones. Ezekiel 37:7

God can make rivers flow through the desert. Isaiah 43:19

God can heal babies still in the womb.

You messed up, yet you don’t have to live in the mess for the rest of your life. You still have a grand, beautiful, purpose-filled life ahead of you. But it begins with God and repentance. Start there.

Help to prevent a midlife crisis

It’s easier to prevent a crisis than overcome one. You just can’t be so arrogant to think you’re insulated from one. I’ve written a book to help called Stronger Down the Stretch – Surviving Midlife Without a Crisis. You can order it on Amazon and Gumroad. Please read it. I believe it can save your family.

I hope you had a remarkable Father’s Day!

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